Serial (Comma) Killer

Someone has a serious Napoleon complex. With the swagger shape of some puny punk leaning against a brick wall in an alleyway, this bully says, "yeah, go ahead. I dare you." The comma. It makes us, even those rare self-professed I'm good with commas people, feel confused, inadequate, and dumb. (Wait, confused, inadequate and dumb.) Personally, I've had it. Hey, comma! You listening? You're just a fleck of lint on my computer screen, an eyelash that I blew a wish on (I wish you'd go away). Have you noticed how insignificant you look on the keyboard? You're a freakin' smudge with a curl. The period is smaller than you and does she make everyone suffer because of it? I, think, not. Yeah, that's